The Sleeping Part of Sleeping Together
By Heather Buchanan (as featured in James Lane Post)
The truth is that sex is the easy part of sleeping together….
It’s the “sleeping” part that causes concern. Now even a one night stand has decreased to a half night stand to avoid dangers of waking up with mascara raccoon eyes or contortions to strategically drape sheets over unfortunate body parts illuminated by the light of day. I know a beautiful Russian who would only have sex on the floor because she actually considered the bed too personal. Even Lucy and Ricky slept in separate twin beds.
There are all sorts of relationship compatibility quizzes but how many address where you spend a third of your life? Are you a blackout curtains, eye mask, white noise machine sleeper or do you prefer open windows so that you can greet that sweet morning light and chirping birds? Do you prefer a hard mattress and light blanket or a pillow top pad and down comforter with enough feathers to cover a plucked gaggle of geese? You can vow for better or worse but not for snoring or night sweats.
I will happily cuddle with you at the movies, in front of your mom, at Starbucks, the frozen food aisle, the post office line, and in a McDonalds handicapped bathroom if you are having a tough day, but when it is time to actually sleep — hands off. And if you continue to be the nocturnal Pepe Le Pew I will keep moving away until I roll off the bed and move around to the other side. But please do not take the unconscious picking up of your arm and flinging it away as rejection. I don’t have intimacy issues – I have sleep issues.